1.)
I curled up on the theater floor,
My bony ass was freezing cold,
A fever nearly robbed me blind,
I crawled around through the night,
A broken window let in the moonlight,
Tessellated on the wooden floor,
I coughed until my lungs were raw,
I swear I could not take it anymore.

(Chorus)
Reciting Bogart's letters to Bacall,
Planting bombs in shopping malls,
Learning toucans mating calls,
Removing thorns from panda paws,
I know but I can't understand it,
Why nothing turns out quite like I planned it,
Gotta, gotta, gotta keep on ... truckin'.

2.)
Tanglefoot made me a bed,
Where Nancy gave people head,
Her Venus eyelids closed over flies,
I carried around a broken broom and
Swept the evil outa the room,
Into Nancy's sweet heart,
For fifty seven years,
She cowered at the sight of clothes,
She punctured the drum in her ears and
Strangled a priest with her pantyhose,
Her forgotten passwords,
Spelled out a secret code.

(Repeat chorus)